59

59 and counting.

This past year,my mind has always been on that date.
To the point whereby I forgot what to take with me in this journey.

The most cliche sentence of learning goes something like,
Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it.

I'm absolutely sure there wasn't joy in the journey,
but I remembered I was happy when awful things ended one by one,
it's like the end of a suffering has equalled pleasure,which baffles me.
Even simple pleasures like lying on my bed makes me squirm in delight.

I know I will feel really overjoyed when I receive my pink ticket,
but amidst the celebration,
I will reminisce about the time down from my very first day on that island,
me wearing the brown polo,the washed-out jeans and the Asics shoes,
bad dress sense I know,that was the last thing on my mind then.

Feeling really out of place and adolescent,I feel myself crawling out of my shell into the real world.
People always tell me,"just get through with it."
That will be most useless advice out there along with "you're gonna be ok."
It was the worst feeling in the world.
I felt so helpless and useless.

There are times when it's so insignificant and routine you really forget all about it,
it's like time freezes over and releases you at another moment.

Maybe this is what it's all about.
Answering you at every checkpoint about things you want answered.

I watched Wok Of Life just now,my favourite Ch 8 drama ever.
The deep sense of nolstalgia really overwhelmed me.
I remembered I was still a carefree kid then.
Go to school,dwindle in class,play soccer till 6pm,
buy ice sticks,then go home and shower eat dinner and there it was,the show.
The fun times.

It was such a happy-go-lucky life then.
Decisions you make won't matter as much.
Mistakes you make won't get judged as much as well.
You won't be held for responsibility to anything and people don't blame you for it.
Cause you're still a kid.

Adult life is such a dark and scary place.
Friendships get distant,people get more awkward,
Everyone's best friend is Yushof Ishak on paperback
and being fat has become an immortal sin.

Sigh,when will I grow up.
I need ice cream.